


Undeserving.

by Skeleton_Wolf



Series: Sterek Short Stories! [8]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cute, Derek Hale is Bad at Feelings, Derek Hale's Loft, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, M/M, Mentioned Scott McCall (Teen Wolf), Other (teen Wolf) characters mentioned, POV Derek Hale, Pack Mom Stiles Stilinski, Post-Nogitsune Stiles Stilinski, Pre-Relationship, Sad Derek Hale, Strong Stiles Stilinski
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-10-28 05:30:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20773343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skeleton_Wolf/pseuds/Skeleton_Wolf
Summary: Stiles sees Derek, finally sees him. But will Derek let him in? Can he believe that someone so perfect, so beautiful could ever feel anything other than a begrudging liking towards him? Or will he forever be stuck in his past?orStiles admits he has feelings for Derek but Derek doesn't think he deserves him, Stiles tries to prove him wrong.





	Undeserving.

Stiles was watching him again, this had become a daily occurrence and he did not know how to deal with it. He knew Stiles’ feelings for him, Stiles being Stiles had gotten bored of dancing around them and just blurted it out once after a Pack Night.

* * *

_ Stiles came out of the bathroom after everyone had left, Scott had offered him a ride but Stiles had told him to go ahead and that he’ll make his own way home. “Hey Der-Bear didn’t really get to talk to you much tonight, not that you talk a lot normally but still I wanted to ask how you were doin’.” After a moment of no response classified by Stiles as too long, he tried again “So... How are you?” _

_ “Go home, Stiles.” Was the grunting reply, it wasn’t that he actually wanted Stiles to go home but he knew he should not - could not - stay. _

_ “Ah! He speaks. I was beginning to wonder if you’d lost your voice somewhere in those magnificent eyebrows of yours. Anyway, that seemed to lack any actual answer to my question, so let’s try that again shall we?” Without waiting for a reply he continued. “Because it’s bad manners to ignore someone's question. Therefore, how are you, Derek?” His voice held no malice, only playful interest. _

_ “I said go home, last time I checked it was bad manners to overstay your welcome.” Yet again all gruff tones and furrowed brows, not what Stiles wanted. _

_ “You know, I think that’s the most you’ve said in, well, ever. To me at least. And yes it is but I asked the question before you asked me to leave.” Stiles smirked, triumphant, as he bounced on the balls of his feet. Not out of nerves, Derek noted, but more out of habit. _

_ “I wasn’t asking.” _

_ “Well, in that case, that’s just rude. Try questions I find they get you a lot further in life than…” He gestured wildly at Derek, “than that.” _

_ “I don’t care.” He needed Stiles to shut up and go. Right now. _

_ Stiles hummed growing slightly aggravated, well if he was gonna play like this he’s on. “I do.” Was the simple reply in a tone that was definitely _ not _ in _ any way _ mocking Derek’s. He would never do something like that. _

_ “What?” This had taken a turn in Derek's opinion, but had it? Of course, Stiles cared, he was pack and rather like the pack mom too so it was basically his job to care. Maybe that wasn’t what Stiles had meant at all, maybe he had just misinterpreted it. That was probably it... _

_ “Come on, Derek, you can’t seriously tell me you haven’t smelt it on me. Yes, I care, I care about the pack and I care about you as part of the pack and as the alpha but you can’t tell me you haven’t worked out that I care about you in a different way. Like, dude, come on I’m not good at hiding it. Not that I’m trying very hard but still.” Stiles rambled on slightly, heartbeat not skipping or stuttering in the slightest. _

_ Apparently, Derek was better at understanding Stiles than he thought. _

_ “What?” Derek asked again because there was no way this amazing human reciprocated his feeling. No way in Hell, right? _

_ “I like you, Derek. Like, like like you.” Did Stiles feel like a 12-year-old confessing their undying love to their crush? Yes, yes he did but he would never tell Derek that, never tell anyone. _

_ “I like you too, Stiles.” The words had fallen out of his mouth before he had a chance to stop them and it made him feel sick, he hated not being able to control himself like that but it was too late now. _

_ “You do? Oh thank the gods, I thought you’d, like, kill me or some shit like that but now I know---” Stiles was cut off quickly but not in the way he’d hoped. _

_ “But we can’t be together.” And that was it, Derek jumped out the window landing in his beta form and running off. He could _ not _ believe that just happened, this must be some cruel joke and the pack would laugh at him tomorrow or a really good nightmare that he both did and didn’t wish he would wake up from. That wish both didn’t and did come true. _

* * *

They still hadn’t talked about it. It had been five days all of which they’d seen each other and all of which Derek spent trying, so hard, to ignore Stiles. But he kept on watching him like he was trying to figure him out, like Derek was an origami piece that Stiles was unfolding slowly, carefully, trying not to rip or ruin. Unfolding him while trying to remember how to put him back together again, trying to remember what each careful tug of paper revealed, trying to remember it all. And Derek hated it. He wished it would stop. He couldn't handle it.

They were all leaving after a Pack Meeting on whatever it had been - Derek had been too distracted by the over-watchful eyes on him - all except Stiles. Who was now walking up to him.

"We need to talk." The words were uncharacteristically serious for Stiles and it almost scared Derek. Almost. All he got was a grunt in reply before Derek turned his back on him and walked into the kitchen, Stiles quick to follow after. "Oh, come on, dude. Don't be like that."

"Like what?" He snapped back voice filled with annoyance.

"All grumpy and like our conversation didn’t happen. You've been ignoring me since that little convo, more than usual. You know, I've been trying to figure out why you don't think we can be together." Stiles’ voice took on a more conversational tone, like this was a perfectly normal thing to be talking about, as his eyes flickered over the man in front of him, different than before, more like he's finally unfolded that last flap and had found out that the paper was actually a map leading to the largest treasure trove in history but, for whatever dumbass reason, wasn't happy about it. "You don't think you deserve love." It wasn't a question, it wasn't even phrased like a question but Derek answered anyway.

“I never said that.” His voice was soft but not gentle because_ damn Stiles and his annoyingly quick wit. _

“You didn’t have to, it’s written in the way you shy away from me when I look at you, the way you haven't even tried to date since Jeniffer and that was years ago, in the way you grow angry if someone _ flirts _ with you and in the way you watch Scott and Isaac or Jackson and Ethan or Lydia and Allison or Erica and Boyd. You watch them with this look of absolute longing but then never _ try _ . You’ve stopped _ trying _, Derek. I’ve been watching you, gods, that sounds creepy, and I notice these things. But you do deserve more than this, you do deserve to be happy and you definitely deserve to love and be loved. Okay?” Pausing, he looked deep into Derek's eyes as if imploring him to understand his words, to get everything he was saying and everything he was not and it made Derek feel stupid because he felt like a child that didn’t understand the simple concept of one plus one equals two but he knew Stiles was wrong. He could not love again.

“No,” Digging his claws into his palms as he spoke in an attempt to keep calm, to stay in control. “Not ‘Okay’, you don’t know what you’re talking about.” He growled out between teeth itching to grow into their full potential.

“I do, Derek, please put away your pride for once in your life and admit it: you are wrong. You do deserve love, not only that, you deserve everything you’ve ever wanted - bar the murder and the ripping of my throat that is because I kind of like my throat in tacked thank you very much. And even if that love and that everything is not with me, it doesn’t matter - well it does but you’re more important than my feelings so… - you should at least try. You deserve that much. Please, Derek, do that for me. If not for me then for you.” He stopped, taking a deep breath before continuing. “If not for you then for them. For your family and for Paige.” His eyes glistened and Derek could smell the pain rolling off him in thick, overbearing waves. It mixed with his own and caused him to momentarily forget how to breathe, his heart constricting and twisting at the thought of his dead family; at the thought of his dead mate, the one he believed he’d never be able to replace but here, standing in front of him, was proof he was wrong. Although was it replacement or just moving on?

“Don’t.” Was the only word he could muster up and force out of his clogged up throat.

“They wouldn’t want you to refine yourself to a loveless life, Derek. They would’ve wanted you to move on and love again, I know they would’ve.” 

“You don't know anything.” Voice coming out sharper than a knife as he quickly grew impatient with Stiles’ insubordination. 

“I know what it’s like to watch a loved one lose their significant other. I know how badly you want them to find someone to fill that hole and how badly you wish you could help them but you know there is nothing you can say, nothing you can do to take that pain away but hope and wish and dream that they will keep trying. That one day they will find what they're missing, that they will find their person.” Stiles looked down at his fidgeting hands and Derek knew he was thinking about his dad, Scott and Lydia and knew he blamed himself for their pain and their loss just as much as he blamed himself for his own loss. “So yes, Derek, I do know. I also know you blame yourself for each and every loss in your life and we will work on that, together, if you just let me in.” The pleading in his voice evident as he stepped forward, looking up at Derek.

“I can’t.” Finally, he deflated, no longer denying the truth but not fully accepting the consequences. “Everyone I’ve ever loved has either died,” Stepping back he went on, “or betrayed me. I can’t deal with that again.”

“I know, Derek, but I would never betray you and we have an entire pack now, something tells me not a whole lot of people will try to fuck with us.” He chuckled before his face contorted into one of slight confusion, slight worry. “That is if it’s me you want to date, I mean, it’s totally cool if you don’t, I would totally understand, you just have to say so and well just pretend none of this ever happened. Well except the part where I said you should look for love because you should still do that even if…” His words trailed off, still talking Derek had just zoned out as Stiles reverted back to his old, rambly self. He thought about all of what Stiles had said, every single word and glance and the tone he’d used and how his heartbeat, at no point, stuttered or quickened in any way proving his truth. _ Or what he thinks is the truth. _A small voice in the back of his head told him, it imminently got batted away as he thought more about what had been said.

Stiles _ had _been telling the truth and Derek knew that. His family wouldn’t want him to sit and brood for the rest of his life. He could practically see Cora’s scowl and hear her reprimanding words mirrored only by his mother who would probably chase him to the ends of the earth just for thinking for one second that he didn’t deserve someone. He could almost feel the rumble of Laura and his fathers’ growls and snaps at the mere suggestion that he could not love another. He knew Paige, ever sweet, would be upset with him for using her as an excuse to get out of trying. Knowing Stiles was right, at least about that, he looked up to see he was being watched again though this time it was not with the same look as before, but a look filled with apprehension and worry.

“Derek?” He fidgeted under the slightly older man’s gaze, running his hand through his dark locks and over his neck before using it to wring his fingers and crack his knuckles. 

“You’re right.”

“What?” He smirked. “Can you repeat that please, Sourwolf, because there is no way, no way in Hell that you, of all people, would admit to me being right.” 

“Oh, would you just shut up for once in your life.” Derek sighed out, already unsure of his decision and thought path. Maybe he was wrong, maybe he didn’t deserve love, especially not someone so fucking perfect, he would just corrupt them.

“No, no Derek, no sinking back into your thoughts. You do deserve this.”

“Are you sure?” He got an earnest nod in response, “Do you promise not to betray me, not to hurt me?” It sounded dumb even to his ears but he needed to ask it, needed to hear he answer and the truth behind it. Needed to hear Stiles say it.

Stiles’ eyes watched him for a moment, appraising him as if trying to work out if he could snark his way out of this. Derek tried to suppress a wince, he knew it was all too good to be true, preparing himself for heartbreak yet again he pushed his shoulders back and forced himself to hold Stiles gaze, refusing to let Stiles get the better of him.

“I promise, I promise Derek. I would never hurt you. I would never betray you. I wouldn’t dream of it. The idea of doing that to you, it hurts.” The seriousness of his tone startled Derek, it was even less joking than it had been only minutes ago but what surprised him more was the matter of fact way he said them: no stutter, stumble or fakery only one-hundred per cent sincerity and it caused him to struggle against the sudden urge to kiss him. A fight not necessary, it seemed, as Stiles moved closer and tugged on the leather lapels of Derek’s jacket, lips brushing his, nervous and gentle. He was pulled back suddenly when he tried to move away, this time when their lips met it was more than either could have ever asked for. It was perfect, slow, loving. It was like magic, like a spell had been placed upon the two, binding them together. Neither wanted to ever leave the others side or lose this, both knew there would be more talking but why not leave that till morning?

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you all enjoyed that, thank you for reading it. If you want to please leave kudos and/or comment. Have a great day, goodbye!
> 
> P.S. If you have any tips on how I could improve my writing that's also welcome. :)


End file.
